The Cold Realities Of Inter-Tribal Marriages….

A devout Christian lady hooks up in marriage with a devout Muslim and expects things to be like they would in a Christian- Christian marriage, based on sweet words of love before the marriage.I guess Folashade woke up and smelt the coffee.I personally do not think it is ideal for anyone to enter into a life contract (marriage, in this context), knowing there could be …in fact, would be unfavourable clauses along the way.The only pre-marriage agreement Folashade and Rabiu had been that Fola would be allowed to continue with her church affairs while Rabiu remained where he was.  She was also not going to be mandated to adorn herself in Muslim attires. To Fola, that was okay and she did no thinking towards the far future. She asked no questions. She was fresh from school. They were in love. Love conquers all.Not that I am saying love is unable to conquer all but why put so much pressure on this love that it becomes something to be detested over time?Time to do application for jobs came. Fola attended several job interviews and landed a mouth-watering job with Zenith Bank, Nigeria. “Sorry honey, you know you can’t take up that job”, Rabiu said so sweetly to his wife.  Fola stared blankly at him; a stare that elicited from him more words. “You see…the interest’s thing banks do is against the dictates of Islam and as my wife, you are not allowed to take up such jobs. Even if I allowed you, my father who is an Imam would kick against it”. “Are you for real!?”, was Fola’s response, and at this point she was close to tears upon realising that her dream of becoming an accomplished banker just died an instant and natural death.I don’t understand…what was she expecting? Oh well, I too was pushed aback when I heard that but hey, I wasn’t the one who entered into that kind of a union!  Rabiu did not give full disclosure, yes, but I still would not say she was hoodwinked into marrying him, she made her choices and one of them was NOT asking questions.And the babies started coming and decisions on their type of education, schools to attend and not to attend, church or mosque kind of worship, etc. were taken Fola realised again, at the point of school talks for children, that her husband, in spite of the fact that he was as learned as she was, still thought in a way not consistent with the age they lived in. Fola, of course had classmates in secondary school who were Muslims and so “it has always been by my wish that my kids would attend Islamic schools so that they would be well-grounded in our ways before they get into the university” came to her as a surprise.  She was still trying to get over that when she was stopped from taking their first son who clocked few years ago to church. Reason put forward was that he had come of age to learn his father’s religion. All the while, she thought her children would be brought up as Christians being as devout as she was. Matters came to a head when Rabiu’s mother came with a second wife for her son, claiming, “…it’s your right in Islam”, and this son said nothing.According to my source, the love between the two began to nose-dive. She felt alone in her marriage. Married and living with her husband but ALONE.What worse can happen to a married woman?