Boundaries are clear cut limits that you set on how others are allowed to behave towards you. They are built around your beliefs, past relationship experiences as well as personal conclusions. These boundaries define the value others would place on you, which would, in turn, determine how they treat you. It may be challenging to deal with situations of boundary violation when they occur. Below are 5 things you can do when friends violate your boundaries.

Identify What Led To the Violation and Readjust

Friends may violate your boundaries because they have seen you violate your boundaries for ‘close friends’. That may give them the impression that with the right amount of prodding, you would do the same for them. It could also be for the reason that you do not come across to them as being serious while you let them know about your boundaries. Another reason is that you may have set boundaries that are too hard and unrealistic to uphold.

Never Ignore a Violation of Your Boundaries

If your boundaries get broken, you need to take real action, not just a passive, ‘I won’t take that next time!’ For instance, if you agreed to wait for someone for an hour, adhering to that boundary would mean that whether or not he or she arrives, you would leave in exactly an hour.

Re-examine Your Set Boundaries

Be fair to yourself and others. Try not to set boundaries that are too high and would be close to being impossible to be upheld by those for whom you set them. Unless you don’t want to have anyone around you, you may need to re-examine your boundaries. Try to identify why your boundaries are repeatedly broken. Find out where you can make them more accommodating without jeopardizing your sense of worth.

Limit or Avoid Contact

If someone fails to adhere to your boundaries, you may need to take drastic measures by limiting your contact with the person or entirely cutting him or her off.

Protect Your Boundaries

How you deal with a violation the first time sets a pattern for other times from that individual and violation from other people.
Tenaciously adhering to these 5 things you can do when friends violate your boundaries, will help protect your boundaries.

Also Read: How to Check on your Friend During Tough Time Without Burning out

Chima Rachael J.